Well where to begin...not sure quite what to write. You've noticed my title is Hodge Podge..in particular because I dont intend to write solely about one subject. Yes indeed I will be all over the place, lol. Just finished looking through old photos and yes the nostalgia has set in. I just recently hit 40, oh good God huh...I know it should be a new chapter but I feel like my last one was never close, not completed yet. I've done none of the things I really wanted. I guess I shouldnt say that...I have a baby w/ a man I love and who will always, I hope, be there for me. And I'm home w/ him and the rest of my kids like I want. But I'm still missing things, some THING...work is non-exsistant and I feel like a failure. I think I've got the one up on my depression/anxiety but things still sucks...just not deep down, panic about suck. Your normal, average daily suck if that make sense. I have no career to speak of..never made it to college and can barely remember anything I learned in HS. I think I have permanent baby brain! There's many things I wanna do...thinks I constantly think about doing but when it comes to the actually doing of it I fall short..really short. It looks great in my mind but I cant seem to find the motivation to actually accomplish any of it! And that brings me to an entirely different subject which I will not get in to at the moment...so hold your hats I'll be back later...